About 4 years ago, I really started feeling crappy about where I was in life. It was the time right before I was turning 30. This feeling that I wasn’t doing or hadn’t done enough at that point in my life, hit me like a ton of bricks.
For me it wasn’t about the traditional timeline of go to college, get married, and have kids. That path was actually well intact. This feeling was about my lack of career. I felt as though what I was doing wasn’t good enough. That it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. Eventually I just started feeling bad for myself and I had the bad attitude to prove it.
Once I started to really pay attention to why I was feeling bad for myself and why I felt the way I did, I realized that it was because I felt stuck. I felt that I had no choice with where I was in life.
Nothing was progressing the way I imagined it would or dreamed it would and I didn’t know what to do about that.
From my experience, this is something most people go through at some point in their lives. However, I don’t feel like it’s something we openly talk about. I know plenty of women who can relate to this feeling of being stuck, but on the outside they seem to have it altogether. It isn’t until we sit down and actually have real conversations that I realize, this isn’t just something I am going through, but rather something we are all trying to figure out. Feeling stuck is not fun and in my experience, it is an incredibly hard emotion to deal with. Again, this feeling of being stuck started about 4 years ago and it is still something I have to work on every.single.day.
Once I was able to recognize what was going on, I decided I needed to do something about it. I needed a major attitude adjustment. I started to listen to all the Podcasts, reading all the books on changing your mindset and going to therapy. I’m not someone who is just going to up and quit their job to travel the world and find myself (although I kind of wish I was). But this smaller version of that journey has been happening and I feel it is finally coming to a head.
So between the podcasts, the books and the therapy, I’ve learned a few things that have been really helpful for me during this journey. I hope that if you are feeling even the tiniest bit stuck with where you are at, these tips will help you as well.
4 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Stuck in Life
This is the most important tip I can share if you are feeling stuck. Like I said above, I used to feel really bad for myself and with that came a lot of complaining. However complaining just creates a vicious cycle and keeps you feeling bad for yourself and stuck.
Try viewing the part of your life where you feel stuck in a more positive light. If you find yourself complaining or feeling sorry for yourself, just cut that thought or sentence off immediately. Learn to change your negative thoughts into a positive one. Take the time to note something that you are grateful for in that very moment.
We can control so much about our lives by just training ourselves to see the positive in things rather than always focusing on the negative. When you aren’t focused on the negative, the universe will take notice, promise!
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. It’s a quote we all know and one we all need to finally accept!
I used to be the worst when it came to comparing my life to others. This was a HUGE factor in my feeling stuck. I felt as though everyone had it figured out. That they all had these successful careers that they loved and I was just stuck. That is not the case at all. NO ONE HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
The thing is comparison is inevitable, but there are ways to compare without feeling unhappy with your own life. For me, the biggest thing was to remind myself that no ones life is perfect. It may look like it is, but there is, without a doubt, something in their life that they wish they could change. I realize this isn’t the most positive outlook, but it helped a TON for me.
Once I was able to grasp that concept, I worked on just being happy for others. Jealousy still hits, but when you celebrate what other people are doing and accepting that that is their journey and not yours, it makes the need to compare a lot less
Focus on the Future…but Not Too Much
Nowadays, I am a huge advocate for accepting where we are now and not constantly reaching for that one thing we believe will solve all our problems. However with that being said, something that has really been beneficial for me, is to work on manifesting the future I want. Down to the tiniest of details.
When I meditate, I will take about 5 minutes to really focus on what I want my career to look like. I picture what the office door I walk through looks like, how my office is laid out, what I’m wearing while at the office, what my schedule would be. I even envision the type of meetings I have. It sounds weird, but it makes me incredibly happy, energizes and motivates me all at once.
If you can appreciate where you are, know it’s not the end all be all and still focus on what your future will look like, that feeling of being stuck won’t be as strong or as present.
Make a Change
Switch up your daily routine, cut your hair, do something you’re fearful of.
If you didn’t know, I had a fashion blog for about 5 years. I didn’t enjoy doing it anymore, I wasn’t proud of it and it didn’t feel like me. However because I had spent so much time on it, I felt like I couldn’t just give it up. Even after starting The Middle Edit, I was determined to keep it going. Until I realized that was part of my problem. I finally let it go last year. I hadn’t realized that was a change I needed to make until I did it. To this day, I feel relieved about my decision.
Even if it is the tiniest of changes, do it. You will experience a refreshed feeling or a sense of excitement. It might be a fleeting feeling, but at least you’ll know it’s there and that there is hope of feeling unstuck!